OT: If You Really Loved Me, You Wouldn’t Have Sent That To Me

Dear Parent-Spammers, Sibling-Spammers, Friend-Spammers, etc.,

If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have every e-mail message on auto-forward.  Instead, you’d evaluate the content of the message, maybe check out its claims, and discard the crap.  To wit:

  1. There is no spider lurking under toilet seats that will bite your rump.
  2. That isn’t a computer from 1954.  It’s an entry in a Photoshop contest.
  3. Mars was closest to Earth in 2003.  That was two years ago.
  4. Starbucks says they love our troops too, and I need caffeine, so I’m still stopping there.
  5. Everyone’s kidneys are safe.

You can check any of these out at www.snopes.com.  Please do so.


  1. I know it says it’s from your bank, but it’s not from your bank.  Trust me, delete it.
  2. Don’t open the screensaver.  Ever.
  3. Microsoft does not send updates via e-mail.  Never have.
  4. If I don’t personally deliver it on a CD, you shouldn’t install it.  If you do install it, and weird stuff starts happening in the middle of the night, don’t call me.  I’ll hang up on you.  You have been forewarned.
  5. You are far from the first person to send that to me.
  6. I have two dogs.  They are cute.  I do not need any more photos of cute dogs, especially ones whom I do not even know.  I especially do not need several megabytes of photos and/or video in a single e-mail message.
  7. No one from any third world country has any amount of money for you.
  8. You can’t get off their mailing list, and asking them to take you off only makes it worse.
  9. You, and 50 million others, have been specially selected only because they have your e-mail address.  It’s not real, just delete it.

So please, before you mash that Forward button, think about what you’re about to do.


One thought on “OT: If You Really Loved Me, You Wouldn’t Have Sent That To Me”

  1. Having a bad day? 🙂

    Trained my family and friends long ago – nobody sends me anything anymore. Wait, maybe that means I don’t actually have any friends and family?

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