Binkies in the Man Cave

Everybody seems to like cute socks for a baby, and boy are they tiny!  It's not easy keeping them paired up--they'd barely cover my big toe, but their colors and patterns aren't mix and match (unlike my sock drawer, which is mainly black, tan and blue socks).

So here's what wifey figured out: go to Michael's (or another craft store), and get their crafting clothespins.  They're about 1 inch long, and are perfect for keeping baby socks together in a drawer.  When you take the socks out of the mesh bag from the dryer, pin them together and drop them in the drawer.

We have a Honda CR-V, with a zipper cover over the spare tire.  Now that it's winter, the zipper gets crudded up with salt and grime.  I had a flat last year, and getting the cover off was a real pain.  The lug nuts on the tire were also crudded up and tough for me to remove,  Fortunately, I was in the parking lot at work in the afternoon, not on the side of the freeway at night.  This year, I'm keeping a can of PB Blaster in the car.  PB Blaster is a penetrating oil available at most auto supply stores (if they don't have PB Blaster, they'll probably have something similar).  A close second is WD-40.  Penetrating oil seeps into the little tight areas of zippers and screws, making it easier for you to loosen them.  This stuff's great for more than just winter, but especially useful now.

So we've had the baby shower, and we have an amazing selection of stuff we never knew existed.  We have binkies, bankies, babas, boppies and bumbos.  To which all I can say is boffo!

With baby on her way, we know we need some touching photos for announcements and to preserve the special moments which will be lost to time all too soon.  The advice we received from one photographer was so good, I have to post it here.  Remember, if you're holding your baby, you can't take the photos yourself.  Having a professional allows both of you to be in the photo with your baby.

What an honor to be asked to photograph your new addition to the family!  Of course we’ll get all of you together as well!

I suggest to parents that they consider the final “look” of the images. Newborn infants are “tiny” and you can get great images with the parents hands. However they are SO tiny that images with the parents’ faces can seem overwhelming. Also newborn babies sleep a lot, mom just came home from the hospital and hasn’t had a chance to relax, get her hair cut, find an outfit she likes etc.

About two months old, the baby is still small, but has gained weight and filled out. They are awake more and you can see their eyes. Images with parents look more proportional. Mom and Dad are more relaxed and less frazzled, ( although they can be sleep deprived!)

By Four Months the baby is more active and no longer “tiny” By 6 months, baby is really active and interacting with the world around it.  They’ll smile by then as well as grab, kick, and some can even roll over. Their personality is coming out.   By 6 months they are holding themselves up, rolling, sitting up, creeping, cooing, and not going to stay still.

This is not a plug, but now you can see why some photographers offer a package that includes 6 sessions over the course of a year to capture all these phases.

A Mother passing by her son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.  Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to "Mom" With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's not only the passion...Mom she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't worry Mom. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,
Your Son Jon

P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolade made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because, WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING !

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day.

And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or usually just sang out their name and if we could see them we walked on in.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.

They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned

HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them. CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good .

And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:

"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us....go ahead and delete this, I d-double-dog-dare you.

For the rest of us.....pass this on.

What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $15000. Tux rental-$150. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $29.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier.